Self Discipline

Self discipline is one area in my life that I have been trying to improve for what feels like forever. I would love to not have to spend any time resisting temptations or internally fighting myself. I have realized that where I lack self discipline, I also lack self awareness. Awareness is more than knowing what your preferences are and knowing your plan for the day. It’s the motivation, why you do what you do, noticing how you relate to others – it’s the deep stuff. It’s knowing who you are and what you’re doing. Once you are self aware, self discipline comes much easier. 

People wonder all the time “how to stay motivated” but honestly, motivation has very little to do with accomplishing anything. You can not wait until something motivates you to start something, you just have to do it. Motivation always comes and goes, and if you solely wait for motivation, the excuses will continue and it will take exponentially longer to get anything done. Motivation is always at its peak when you start anything, but it declines almost just as fast. It’s not reliable and if you’re just “not in the mood” you’ll talk yourself out of it. Discipline is when you do the work because you know it has to be done regardless of anything else. 

If you allow self-sabotage, your life is going to display that. If something comes up in your life, you’re going to become unmotivated and put it on the back burner. It has happened to me too often and I think I can say that I’m not alone here. 

Find where you lack discipline. Think back to last week and find a time that you planned to be productive, but you got distracted because something more appealing came up. What did you end up giving your attention to? What was more important? 

Pay attention to what frustrates you everyday. Things that can break your focus and motivation are everywhere. Know what causes you to become distracted and keep it far, far away from you. Learning to be disciplined is difficult because you have to be constantly aware. Aware of your surroundings, aware of your decisions, aware of how your decisions are affecting you. People often either overestimate their ability to say no or they make decisions based on how they are feeling at the time, and as people we tend to be slaves to our emotions. When people become emotional they tend to let their self discipline go out the window. How often do you get invite to something or have a fun idea and blow off your priorities because of your fear of missing out? You are controlled by emotions, and only rewarded with short term gratification. 

To be disciplined you have to show up over and over, despite how you feel. What you’re striving for is more impactful, it is important to stay committed to it. Not everyday is going to be your best day, but making them habits does help. You should have higher expectations of yourself than anyone else does of you. 

Simply forming habits is not enough to get you to your “end game”. Habits are actions we take subconsciously, habits are autopilot. Our goals should not be something just on “autopilot”. I am all about making and breaking habits, but thats a topic for another day. This is why I believe discipline is so important. Discipline is when something is so important, that not doing it is not an option.

This is something that I myself am still trying to learn. To be honest, it’s difficult to write about some topics when I haven’t mastered it myself, but I often realize this is the best time to write about them. 

I hope this helped you in one way or another,
Thanks for reading ☀️

23 thoughts on “Self Discipline

  1. Thanks for this post and for being transparent. Very practical advice and I loved it! I too struggle with blaming “motivation” for my failures so instead I need to just Deferro make better choices whether I feel like it or not! ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Keep going. Keep listening. Keep writing….every one of us is being called into the unknown. Cultivating awareness teaches us that everything is programming and that everything has meaning. And that in every moment their is a choice to follow your passions. Thanks for the inspiration :).

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I definitely feel that I am ruled by my emotions (which I do not find easy to regulate at all), and this post just reminded me that “motivation” doesn’t really exist. Life is definitely about disciplines. This was a very necessary reminder, beautifully written, thank you for sharing! x

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Thank you for this! When I think about “self-awareness” I tend to think about it as being “mindful”. I’ve been trying to work on this myself, especially with the kind of thoughts that I ruminate on.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Hello, Kourtney, this is a most interesting post. I think I’m going to have to find the time to read your other work. Until I do, and because I haven’t looked at everything to know if you’ve touched on the subject, I’d like to ask your opinion on how or maybe, peer pressure and reality TV, influence some of what you discuss?

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I find this is similar to “inspiration”. I used to write when I was “inspired” and if I didn’t have the time to write then, then I didn’t write. Now I write every night at a given time, and while sometimes its crap, I have about 1000 times more good stuff written down.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Pingback: Self Discipline-‘Where you lack Self-Discipline, you also lack Self-Awareness’ – The Height

  8. I’ve been trying to work on this as well! It’s difficult but I try to think about the result that I will get once done. Anyway, Great post! 🙂


  9. The beginning of your text has made me realize I could do an experiment when I notice that I’m wasting time fighting myself internally over doing or not doing work. Instead of fighting, I think I should just observe what part of me it is that I’m fighting. Acknowledge it and see what it wants.


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