Definition: Creating unnecessary problems for oneself, or intentionally causing destruction of ones own goals.
We all have (or had at some point) some goal that we’re trying to reach, and we know that sometimes things just don’t work out. Even when we become obsessed with it and so infatuated with the thought of achieving it. It’s probably not what you want to hear, but more often than not the reason things keep “spontaneously” interfering is because we’re creating the issues. It’s self sabotage. I’m not writing this to say I’m not guilty of it, in fact I think this will make myself more aware that it’s something I do too often.
We set a goal and get motivated and excited because we have something figured out. Until things start to get a litttttle uncomfortable and we realize that taking action towards it is actually scary, so we make up some reason to stay still. Sound familiar? We try again and even make plans to do something to help get us there, but then still find a reason not to. All of the sudden we’ve created these issues that were never there until we fully convince ourselves that we can not do it. So we change our goals to something more “reasonable”, something less intimidating, something less risky. By now our goals are half the size they started as and we still can’t convince ourselves to put the work in. Eventually we don’t even set new goals because we keep quitting them. If we don’t set the goal, we can’t fail right? Eh, wrong idea.
Not having goals is the same if not worse than failing because you’re not even giving yourself a chance. Not knowing what exactly you want to do in the end is not a reason not to set goals, you should always have them. Our brains are wired to protect our feelings, we make excuses to avoid feeling like we let ourselves down. When things get harder it doesn’t mean you need a break. It’s supposed to get harder and it means your growing. You have to do something with your life eventually and avoiding the hard work won’t make the discomfort go away. I used to think I was sooo busy because I had work or school everyday, along with whatever else I dedicated myself to that day. Looking back now I realize I was using those as excuses not to put extra effort into making time for what I should have been. I would go on my computer and move things around here and there, I mean it felt like I was being productive sure, but that wasn’t getting the next post written or getting me closer to the next step. It was self sabotage, you can tell yourself you’ll do it later or that you should take a break because you worked hard the day before or whatever, but you’re still just making excuses to stay the same.
We continue to do the same things we’ve always done and wonder why we keep ending up in the same dead end situations, getting frustrated over the same things and ending up around the same shitty people rather than wondering why we’re literally choosing those things. It’s natural to want consistency, we aren’t comfortable with change so when we see it coming we sabotage ourselves. Some people revolve their entire life around staying comfortable and they might be happy with that. They would rather not work, than work, rather not even try, than to face the possibility of failing. But here’s a thought, if you’re in a routine of just watching Netflix, scrolling through Instagram and keeping up with what whoever is doing on social media when you get home, you’re going to want to keep doing that because it’s easy and you’re used to it. What if you started putting work into something else that you actually care about and made that your routine? What if when you “didn’t feel like it” you did it anyways until it became normal? You’d probably keep doing that because you would be used to it. The more we “win” the more we want to win, the more we sabotage the more we want to sabotage. If you’re going to do something, do it for real and because it’s what makes you happy. We spend too much time being scared and worrying about how what we do will be taken. People don’t care what you’re doing, they’re busy caring about what other people think about what they’re doing. It would be a shame to waste your potential just because you were scared to step outside of your routine.
I by no means am trying to give the impression that I have mastered eliminating self sabotage but it is something I have become more aware of and I think that by keeping it in the back of my mind and by forcing myself to face it rather than creating excuses, I will get better at it. I don’t want to pretend that I have my whole life figured out, I don’t. What I do know is that I have high expectations and high standards for what I want my life to be, and sabotaging myself is not going to get me those things. I think this is really important and can be applied in any situation you might be in, if you made it this far in the post I hope you found something helpful.
As alwaysss, thanks for reading ☀️☀️