Most of my life I have always put myself last. Making sure other people were taken care of and happy and have everything they needed or wanted before maybe taking care of myself.
But for what? Don’t get me wrong doing things for others (if you feel good about it) is great but keep in mind that it’s not your job. Your job is to push yourself closer to literally whatever is going to make you happy in the long run and anything other than that is basically self sabotage. You see and hear people all the time talking about “putting yourself first” but get offended when you actually do it. They say you’re being selfish and unrealistic. When you cut people out of your life it somehow means that you’re holding a grudge or not being the bigger person. But when you don’t put yourself first they tell you that you deserve better and you shouldn’t be so hard on yourself and so on. People act like it’s a crime to be happy or to be proud of yourself.
Basically what I’m saying is that no matter what you do people are going to have an opinion, and being there for everyone’s every beg and call is not getting you anywhere. For people who think it’s selfish, who cares? Be selfish. People get really upset when they realize they can’t take advantage of someone anymore. Who cares if that means it’s an inconvenience for whoever else. People will learn to start to treat you with respect when they realize you’re not a door mat and learn to walk away from those who don’t. Raise your expectations for what and who you put up with. Learn to notice when you’re being taken advantage of, it might be uncomfortable to just switch on people one day and say no or to stand up for yourself but do it anyways. It doesn’t matter if it’s a family member, friend, stranger, whoever, don’t let people walk on you. Your days are so much more productive and there’s so much more time in the day when you take charge doing things you should be doing rather than whatever whoever else wants you to be doing.
I would have thought this was common sense but I think a lot of people actually need to hear it. As always I’m sure people will have their opinions about it but that’s okay. I don’t want to be a person that feels like my only purpose is to make other people’s lives easier, or a person that says sorry for everything or has no backbone. What do you get out of that? Taking care of yourself after years of doing the opposite is a great thing and people will only get mad when they don’t have the guts to do it themselves.
I want to dedicate November to “doing it for me”. By this I mean that for every day of the month I’m going to do something that’s not things like going to work, school, the gym or writing. Not things that are my regular routine but something simple every day that pushes me mentally or creatively that is just for me. I also want to do one thing every week for the month that scares me or is new and out of my comfort zone. These are things I should make part of my everyday of every month but I’m going to make it a point for November and at the end of the month I’ll write about how it went and how I feel. Everyone “knows” when what they’re doing isn’t what they should be doing but it’s rare that people actually do anything about it. If you made it this far in the post I’d lovee for you to comment and tell me the last time you did something that was for you, out of your comfort zone, scary, etc. and I hope all of you will dedicate November to doing it for you too.
P.s Let me know if there’s anything you guys would like me to write about in the future and make sure to follow me on instagram @ definingyellow if ya haven’t already 🙂
Thanks for reading ☀️☀️☀️