By reading the title of this you probably know whether it applies to you or not. I have been reading a lot the past few weeks (mostly blog posts but books too!!) and by the looks of it, I know that many of you know what I’m talking about. There are very few things that feel worse than when your mind is going a million places at once and not knowing why or where it came from. It’s even more intense if you’re someone that typically feels calm and collected. You aren’t used to being shaken up all the time. Your fight or flight reaction doesn’t know what to do, you stay calm but your head feels crazed, probably more than you want to admit to. Admittedly or not, it happens to the best of us one time or another. So, if this sounds like you, or even if it doesn’t, here ya go:
Here are some things that can happen to minds that get a little too anxious. Everyone processes emotions differently, but I hope this helps to make sense of some of it, or can help you in some way.
1 . You care what people think – Half of the reason you feel anxious might be because you don’t let yourself react naturally to things or feelings, but instead reacting how you think you’re expected to. I have done this so. many. times. I don’t know why, it’s ridiculous when I think about it because I know that what someone thinks about how I respond to something shouldn’t affect me. We should never ever keep quiet or apologize for how we feel.
2. You’re able to turn off your mind – Learning this might have developed out of necessity, but you can use it to your advantage. When your plate is already full as it is, it causes a lot of extra stress when others expect you to deal with their problems too. It’s totally okay and actually very refreshing to go out of your way to put yourself in a position where other people can’t put their weight on you.
3 . You stay in control of yourself – You probably don’t want to make yourself or your emotions anyone else’s responsibility. The thought of losing control of these things is terrifying. This could also mean that you don’t like to or are scared to accept help from others. Everyone needs help in some way at some point, you are not troubling anyone by asking for it. You’ll feel the relief once you do it.
4 . You don’t like to confront people – This is probably to avoid upsetting anybody, which can also mean not communicating how you feel. Holding things in seems like the best solution sometimes, when in reality communicating can probably solve the whole problem. On top of that, worrying about it is only going to add to your anxious feeling. Honesty is the best policy!
5 . You sometimes objectify your emotions – They are easier to process when they’re not your own. This can be really beneficial to keep your emotions from controlling you, but it can be harmful if you only process or really feel the ones you want. We are meant to feel all emotions, both good and bad. It’s important to know that to avoid being controlled by your emotions is different than not feeling them.
6 . You prepare for the worst – You know the saying, “prepare for the worst but hope for the best”? yeah. Knowing the worst that could happen is helpful because nobody likes surprises, the unfavorable ones at least. You probably know that whatever is going to happen, is going to happen and worrying about it will not change the outcome. Unless being prepared can help change the outcome, in that case, this is why you like to be prepared.
These things only have power if you let them control you. Sometimes not knowing what to do with a feeling can make you feel crazy, I promise you’re not. We can blame fear for being a huge factor in it all, but if I could give you any advice about breaking from that feeling, I would say to learn to understand what triggers you. Once you understand it you can learn how to fight it. It might feel like a sneaky and evil thing because you don’t think you can control it, but you can’t let it take over your life, you have much better ways to spend your life.
The purpose of this was to point out that for those of you that get this feeling, you aren’t alone. I hope you found some comfort in this. This post is kind of different than any posts I’ve written before but I thought I should try to touch on the subject, I hope you enjoyed it and got some benefit from it.
Thanks for reading ☀☀
PS. If you don’t know already I started an instagram to go along with my blog!! Where I can post daily thoughts and little posts in between these posts, @ definingyellow if you guys want to follow it!
This was a great read! Really helps to know that we aren’t alone in dealing with our problems. Also, there are MBTI (like INFP, INFJ, INTP etc.) based sub reddits that help with sharing and solving common personality quirks as a community.
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Really honest post.. so important (but so hard) to give yourself permission to react honestly, allow your own emotions and accept situations. Lots to think about here, thank you
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thank you so much, im glad you enjoyed it!
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Ahh this is really a relatable. I agree with most of this but for number 2 I actually find I’m the opposite. I find that dealing with anxiety means I actually can’t switch my mind off because it’s constantly running on over-drive.
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So very true-you hit some nails on the head for me, for sure.
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You’re talking my language, great read! This is EXTREMELY important when it comes to mental health as well. If we can learn to know ourselves better, embrace the good/bad not as good/bad but it just is, and understand while realizing that we are not alone tons of people have an anxious mind we can collectively work to improve mental health as a whole. We are our own worst enemies but we are also our own heroes.
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Oh definitely!! I’m so glad you enjoyed the post, and thank you so much for your insight as well 🙂
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Very well drafted. Those are some handy tips
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Excellent post, it hits home with me. My mind is always running and not always in a good direction, I never could figure out why. This post helps me realize that it happens and emotions, thoughts etc., feed into it. An anxious mind describes it perfectly.
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Im so glad this helped you!! you’re definitely not alone. thank you so much for commenting and letting me know. 🙂
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More than a few of your points are right on for me. I appreciate your honesty.
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thank you so much!!
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Insightful post, lots of food for thought.
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Great post girly! I loved when you said “You only give these things power when you let them control you”. I think that was one of the most important statements of the whole article. We all have those moments when our minds are filled with anxiousness but the key is how we respond in those moments. Do we choose to OVERCOME or do we choose to submit to it? Overcoming anything often starts with a decision. Thank you for posting your thoughts!😊
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Thanks for this post. It’s weird how much this helped me out especially when I needed it the most. Let’s keep in touch
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I am so glad you commented and let me know, Im so glad you benefitted from it. 🙂
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I really did. Hope to see you again on my site too! Followed ya
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Awesome read. 👍
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I had so many of these symptoms for years and didn’t realize it was anxiety. I attributed my nonconfrontational personality to being weak willed, and I thought my overthinking was just normal. I wish teen anxiety and mental health had been more in the spotlight in the 90s.
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This is It’s so weird to know that while these thoughts happen very often for some people, they also don’t happen very often for others. We all have different brains and think different ways but when it comes to this, it’s reassuring to see how many can feel and think the same way.
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Good advice! You brought up some points that I didn’t think of, thank you for your insight 😊
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of course! Im glad you were able to look at some new perspectives 🙂 thank you!!
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It’s all within us to control our thoughts and anxieties..true, easier said but over time have felt that this understanding of your own self is what lets you get past anxieties!
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love this! i can definitely relate as i’m sure others can as well. i’ve been trying to work on the whole always being anxious thing, and yoga, meditation, and reading have been my ultimate lifesavers lately (never thought i’d say that)!
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Anything that you can do benefit you and calm yourself is amazing!! I love to do all of those as well 🙂 So happy for you!
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I really relate to your post. Growing up being anxious of new environments and constantly on fight or flight made the days go even slower and harder to pass. Thankfully now I know it’s ok to feel out of place, so I don’t fight the feelings too much.
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That’s to best!! Im so happy for you for learning how to deal with it 🙂
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Very helpful. Thank you.
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I loved the exploration of anxiety in this post. In reading it, a few things came up for me. Emotions, in and of themselves are neither positive nor negative. They exist because we attempt to make sense of our lived experience through the bio physiological currents that dictate our nervous system. Even unwanted emotions, such as a anxiety , fear, and sadness have a place for psychological growth. Anxiety exists as a survival tool. Anger as a problem solving tool. Sadness is a beautifully Self-reflective emotion. Even the strongest emotions such as love and hate do not exist separately from the space we allow for those emotions to exist in our personal life. In the end, we exist and make sense of our personal life because of myriad of emotions to which we have access.
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Exactly!! Thank you so much for your insight 🙂
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thank you! i love the difference you make between not being controlled by feelings and not feeling them. i think that oriental philosophies and the idea of transcending emotions are sometimes misunderstood as not feeling emotions. but transcending is going through them onto a different paradigm, i think, not a kind of “spiritual bypass”. i look forward to more from you!
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Thank you!!!
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Another great post! I miss reading them…look forward to the next when you have time…oh and my head is…what’d you say in so many words…calm not crazed. TC
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Thank you so much!! I have been trying to decide whether you guys want posts more frequently or keeping them as is, let me know! Also you can follow my blog instagram for more posts! :))
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Nice content post! A lot of food for thought.
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Thank you!!
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This is a great piece.
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Thank you!!
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Thank you for sharing this. This has been on my mind.
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You give a pretty concise analysis about human behaviour facing different scenarios and the advice is really helpful. Just one note to point 5. It’s easy to fall into the trap calling emotions “good” or “bad”, because it represents certain social or moral categories (good being wanted emotions, bad being unwanted) which is part of the problem you describe: not coping with “bad” emotions. Psychologist today rather talk about primary emotions (Fear, Anger, Joy, Sadness, Surprise, Disgust) and secondary emotions which develop later and are more complex emotions sometimes blending different primary emotions (e.g. Shame, Pride, Guilt, Grief – differing from sadness..). There are still “positive” and “negative” emotions though but to me those categories are pretty arbitrary, because again they manifest social necessities and the need to supress certain emotions in certain circumstances. You summed it up really well, we need all those emotions to live a healthy live and develop our personalities and trying to supress some mostly leads to problems.
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Oh definitely. Emotions are temporary, they come and go but we learn from them all. Thank you so much as always!!
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balancing ones self and having a space to talk about these issues is important. So thank you for sharing and the advice.
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Me too a capital T! Omgoodness…awesome post! I usually do good with this, but these past couple weeks Ive not been sleeping well. So Ive been all over the place….
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Reblogged this on When I Choose to Speak:.
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Insightful post about anxiety. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
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It feels like you’re speaking right to me with these. You know exactly what goes on inside the anxious mind and called it right out. Thank you for this. It was needed.
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Brilliantly written. Such clarity on such a muddy subject 🙏🏾
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I appreciate this post particularly because of the actionable steps it offers for those dealing with anxiety. 🙂 You elaborate just enough that people are able to understand the tips and common pitfalls. “Objectifying emotions” is one so many of us do so thanks for pointing it out. 🙂
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Oh my God. Applies to me 💯!!! Thank you for this post!!! Such A great read
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Great post, easy to read and informative!
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