Feelings are the strangest things I think, they’re these things you feel in your chest and your heart and you can’t control them. And sometimes they hurt, sometimes we know why and sometimes we don’t, but that doesn’t change the fact that we feel them.
Its hard to work on yourself, it’s probably one of the hardest things I’ve had to do if not the hardest. Beginning to work on yourself is the hardest part I think, because you have to force yourself to face all the things you need to work on. I let people walk all over me when I knew it wasn’t best for me, I let toxic people stay in my life because I was too scared to say they weren’t good for me, I went the extra mile and inconvenienced myself for people that would never do the same for me. I did all these things while also feeling like I was the problem in peoples lives, I felt like was making peoples lives harder than they should be. I felt sad and helpless and there was no reason to feel like this but I did and it was a bad feeling let me tell ya.
You cant make a change if you don’t want it 100%, and you won’t make a change if you don’t put all of your effort into it. Putting half of your effort in is only going to make you feel disappointed in yourself for not seeing results. So I did that, and I came a very long way, I felt like myself for the first time in as long as I could remember. And then something happens and you feel lost again, you feel like all the progress you made went right out the window and you start feeling things that are familiar to the old you, there doesn’t have to be a reason for this happening, sometimes it just does and you feel like you can’t control it.
When you lose yourself, it’s okay to feel those feelings. Don’t try to hold them back because they’ll get stuck and you’ll never be able to get rid of them. Use those feelings as motivation to take care of yourself. And don’t feel like you have to do it alone, you don’t. I would never have made it as far as I have by myself. Its okay to lose yourself once in awhile, you aren’t any less strong for coming so far and you are going to get back to where you were. You’ve done it before and you’ll do it again and it will be easier this time. You’ve already proved to yourself that you can do it and you deserve it. You have not become the person you used to be just because you feel those things. You are still the strong person that overcame everything this far. It isn’t easy, it really is hard work, but you’ll be so glad you put that work into yourself. You owe it to yourself to be the best that you can be.
Thanks for reading ☀️☀️☀️