Holding On

There’s a certain feeling that I think most every person gets at a funeral, when everyone comes together to grieve and celebrate the life of whoever has passed. Every good memory with the person fills our minds and any and all bad times are like they never happened. Any problems the family had just goes away, or at least is put away for the time being. People who don’t really know each other are hugging and supporting each other, and when you leave you feel like you need to remind everyone that you love them because you wish that you got to tell that person one more time that you love them

I have been to two funerals in the past month, both for my grandmothers. One of them was in her 90’s and lived a long, happy and strong life, it broke my heart but she let everyone know that she was ready. My other grandmother was 70, she was in pain and refused medical attention and it resulted in her passing. Her funeral was just as I described, we all came together supporting each other and grieved the loss of our loved one together. We were all an absolute mess. But at least we had each other.
Thinking about a funeral is terrible and uncomfortable and it just breaks my heart to know that that is what some people want for themselves.
We don’t think about this when we think about people who want to end their lives. We don’t think about all of the people that are going to miss us, how different life will be for the many people that have to learn to live without us, the pain that people are going to be in when we’re gone, to some of us we only think about how we won’t have to deal with our problems because we’ll be gone.
I just want to say a few things to those people that just want their problems to go away:
I promise you that whatever it is you’re going through is not permanent, even if it seems that way. Your life does not have to be as awful as you feel like it is, your future does not have to be as dark as your past. You may feel like the bad in life is worse than the good is good, but you haven’t lived long enough to see the best parts of the good in life. You aren’t destined to have a future like your past. I know how hard things can be, and I know how awful it is to feel alone. But you’re not. I know how sometimes our minds go a million places at once and it just won’t shut up. I know that some childhoods are so brutal that you don’t want to see a future. People say to talk to someone but either you don’t want to or don’t think you need anyone, or the person you talk to isn’t any help. I know it hurts, and I know that once the idea is put in your head that’s all you can think about. Please give help a chance, give yourself a chance to let go of whatever is inside hurting you. Give the people that love you a chance to be there for you. It can’t happen if you don’t want it to. Think about all the people that would be devastated to see you go, to not see what you have to give the world. Don’t do it for anyone though, do it for yourself. Try, genuinely try to see the good in your life and chase it, hold on to it. Your life can be so much better than you think right now. You can be happy, you can love your life and the people in it, you can be glad to wake up in the morning. You can be free from all the demons in your past.
Wherever you are in life, there’s always a way to turn your life around. It might be hard, but nothing worth having in life is easy. Do it for yourself, because having gone through whatever it is you’re going through,  you deserve to see the good that life has to give you. It might not seem like it right now, but it will be worth it.

Life really is short, and in some cases it’s shorter than we ever expected it to be. We need to stop being so stubborn and being mean to people for no reason. We need to stop assuming that people don’t need help. Tell the people you love that you love them. Help people if you’re capable. Hold a door open for someone. You literally never know how much some people might be hurting and the  smallest thing could convince them to hold on a little bit longer. I’m fighting like hell for all the people that just don’t see the light yet, but you will.

National Suicide Prevention Hotline: 1-800-273-8255
Child Abuse National Hotline: 1-800-252-2873
Children and Adolescence in danger: 1-800-543-7283
Self- abuse: 1-800-366-8288
National Institute of Mental Health Information: 1-800-647-2642

Thanks for reading ☀️ ☀️ ☀️

16 thoughts on “Holding On

  1. “I feel like I’m out of my mind. It feel like my life aint mine.” That first number prompted me to go listen to that song. I’m very sorry for both of your recent losses. It’s incredibly inspiring to know that you’re going through such and you were still able to take the negative feelings and use them to make this supportive post. Reading it was a comfortable reminder that nothing is permanent, so thank you 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Pingback: Re-post: Holding On by Defining Yellow – MrHushHush Entries

  3. You can live for those that you have lost, work hard be the best you and make those loved ones proud be you and change the world. Death can always destroy a person but how you change the world after in their name can make your heart whole. And much love to you for putting those support numbers there and tackling this tough topic, depression or negativity is one of the strongest forces in this world, and it can alter ones life rapidly. Stay amazing.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Funny that both our posts coincidentally talk about death. The thought of suicide is a very charming way of escape. What always give me a pause is my own consideration – what if I escape this world by killing myself and wake up in another realm but my circumstance and problems are the same? Then, it would be better to just surf the challenge of living in this lifetime. Our own life is our responsibility. The world does not owe us anything. Whatever card is dealt to us, we have to embrace it. Good or bad. We do not control the events but we control how we act on it – again, either positively or negatively, our choice.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Thank you for this post, I was in a very bad place. And I can’t say how much getting help has changed my life. Therapy has been the biggest blessing in my life. I went from feeling hopeless, like a burden to people, like I could never achieve my goals to feeling hopeful, and that I matter. Couldn’t have gotten here without the help and support of my therapist.

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  6. I’m at work can’t read all..but this one…I was having a mental conversation about this very thing this morning.. of course I was thinking about my father and his death and how once I didn’t take life seriously and even thought how dying would be a solution. But his funeral and seeing what my mother went through changed my perception towards life and death.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. I know I’m a little late, but sorry for your lose.
    I was a child when my grandparents passed away, probably didn’t understand much of it, but I remember crying of me and surrounding me people. Events like this change people’s thinking about life and death.

    Liked by 1 person

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