Sometimes we think that just because someone isn’t physically touching us that it’s wrong to say they are abusing us. So many times we are being abused emotionally and we don’t even notice it because we are gradually sucked into it.
It’s not just by our significant others either, it could be a friend or a sibling or a parent. It could be anyone.
I’m going to keep my promise of being very open with this blog because I want everyone to know that they aren’t alone. Also because I know how hard it is to open up and I want you all to know that you can, and it is so relieving.
So this is relevant to me today because as I have said before, my parents fight, a lot. The past few days have been one of those times, I really try to stay out of it and my dad really tries to pull me into their problems (mostly because he knows getting me involved will hurt my mom). I don’t talk to him much as it is, but I randomly got a text from him yesterday that basically said if I don’t want to pick his side then he is walking out of my life because he doesn’t need me. (the conversation was much more than that but you get the idea). Come on I’m 20 years old I shouldn’t be picking mommy and daddy’s side.
I honestly couldn’t tell you the reason they are fighting, I don’t know nor do I care but the point of this is that what is happening is emotional abuse. I chose not to get in the middle but it still took a toll on me (obviously) because I felt forced to pick a side between both of my parents. I have seen it happen to my mom and I have seen it happen to my friends and myself, more than once.
If someone is making you feel like you don’t have a say in your decisions, or are threatening to do something whether it’s physical or not, please recognize it is abuse.
You are so much more important than that person makes you feel.
If you feel like you’re constantly walking on egg shells around certain people because of the way they react, please know that it isn’t supposed to feel like that.
Its hard to walk away from people that are hurting us, because most of the time it’s the people that we care about. We don’t realize that they are hurting us because we have grown so comfortable with how they treat us that we believe it ourselves.
Feeling unsure about how your relationship with a person will be day to day isn’t love.
Being scared of upsetting a person by just being yourself isn’t love.
Feeling like you have to try to constantly please a person by hurting yourself to keep them around isn’t love.
If its a parent, yes you have to be related to them but you don’t have to let yourself be affected by them. You are not your parents, you are you, so you decide who that is.
If it’s a lover, your family/friends usually notice it first so please hear them out. If you aren’t as happy at the end as you were at the beginning, there’s a problem, please don’t ignore it.
If it’s a friend, well your friends are supposed to support you and push you to do better. You choose your friends, choose the ones that make you feel good about yourself. If they stop, then it’s time to consider new friends.
If someone isn’t making it known that they love you or care about you, no matter who it is, know that you can walk away from them before it starts to destroy your self esteem. It’ll hurt, but it’ll feel so much better once you’ve done it. Every single person should be and is worthy of being loved.
It is them that has the problem and it is them that decided to push a great person away. You’ve made it this far, you’re far much stronger than you think you are. I promise the air is much fresher afterwards.
Thanks for reading ☀☀☀